Why A Man Shouldn't Fall In Love

Published: 18th May 2009
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Love. Perhaps the most powerful of all emotions, it's an intoxicant like no other. We all strive for it in our lifetime, and we wan to share it with a special woman who will return it and make us feel wonderful.

The desire to experience love can be so overwhelming, that often times men RUSH into it, only to be hurt later on.

A study done in the 1980s revealed that 90% of all relationships are ended by women. This means that 90% of men who've been in relationships have, at one time or another, had their hearts broken.

And when this happens, it can be a painful, gut-wrenching process. Anyone who's ever been dumped can tell you this.

Because of that, many men try and safeguard themselves by shutting down emotionally. They can still feel attraction and lust for women, but their hearts are always guarded to try and keep themselves from experiencing that hurt of being dumped again.

Women love to complain that men are never "in touch" with their feelings, and that they tend to be "emotionally distant" in relationships. But when a guy is trying to keep from getting hurt, it's pretty hard to open themselves up to their partner.

So this presents us with a problem.

Falling in love too quickly opens yourself up to the possibility of being hurt. But never allowing yourself to experience love for your partner can sabotage your relationships.

So what's a guy to do?

The answer to this is to keep your guard up early on, and then after the relationship is established, allow yourself to open up.

If being hurt frightens you, understand that you might, eventually, become so paralyzed by it that you miss out on the joy of being in love. And you'll miss out on a great treasure that life has to offer.

Men need to allow themselves to be open to their partners.

The problems really start when a man does this too EARLY though.

They meet a girl they like, they begin to imagine being with her, get themselves all worked up about actually believing they are "in love" - even before they've gone on the first date!

Then, the girl gets weirded out because she is no where near as familiar witht he idea of being "in love" with the guy, as he is with her, and she REJECTS him.

And then the guy gets hurt, and becomes miserable.

To avoid this situation, you have to learn the process of creating trust and comfort around women BEFORE you allow yourself to fall in love with them.

You can like a girl as much as you want, but you must keep reminding yourself not to get too attached until she's proven she feels the same way about you.

Keeping a girl at arm's distance early on helps you to screen her. It helps you see if she's the type of person YOU really want to be with.

It helps to guard your emotions so you don't get hurt. But more than that, it gives you the time needed to start forming genuine bonds and emotional connections with the girl.

Once those emotional connections begin to form and strengthen, the girl will begin to open up to you. At this point, you can allow yourself to open up to her as well, and give yourself permission to fall in love if the girl is the one for you.

Is there a risk you might still get hurt and rejected? Sure. That risk will ALWAYS be there.

You lessen the risk by easing into the situation, coupled with doing the necessary work it takes to create a strong relationship. It's far better than rushing in and pronouncing how much you love the woman, I can guarantee.

Remember - the key isn't that you SHOULDN'T fall in love. It's that you shouldn't fall in love too soon!

Joseph Matthews has been instructing men how to meet women since 2004, and is widely known as an authority in the field of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to learn more about how to meet women, check out his complimentary newsletter.

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