Talking To Girls On The Phone

Published: 18th May 2009
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Dating successfully is all about having good communication skills. The better you're able to communicate to the women you are attracted to, the better you are able to attract them!

And when it comes to communication, nothing is more important than knowing how to speak to a girl on the phone.

When you start dating someone on a regular basis, along with seeing them face to face often, your primary mode of speaking will be the phone.

Without speaking to someone on the phone, it's going to be difficult to create the type of rapport necessary to sustain a relationship.

So having good phone skills is VITAL to success with women!

I speak from experience, that your phone presence can either RUIN you, or make you seem so confident, mysterious, and fun that she can't WAIT to go out with you.

Here is what you need to know to make a great impression on the phone, and keep her interested in you...

1.) Don't Be Nervous on the phone!

If you're nervous talking on the phone, that will cause you to let the conversation stall. She'll be able to tell if you're struggling to make chit-chat, and it'll hurt her impression of you.

The key here is to NOT BE NERVOUS when you call a girl! If you find yourself feeling the nerves before you call, take some time and calm yourself down. Take some deep breaths, listen to some soothing music, and remember that there are plenty of other girls out there if it doesn't work out with this one.

It's important to project the right attitude while one the phone. Being (and sounding) confident will always trump nervousness! So allow yourself to have fun and relax!

2.) Be ASSERTIVE When You Talk!

Most people MUMBLE and STUMBLE all over themselves with garbage like: "What'cha been doing?" Nothing bores a girl more than these boring, awkward questions.

If you rely on the girl to lead the conversation, you're going to find that the conversation will end quickly.

You have to be assertive in the conversation and steer it where you want it to go. Do NOT rely on her to carry this burden!

Have some topics you'd like to talk about before you call up. This will give you an idea of what to talk about if the conversation stalls. If she mentions something that interests you while talking, ask her about it in more detail.

Be active in making the conversation!

3.) Have a purpose to call when calling.

If you are looking to just chit chat, do not call her. It's a waste of time for the both of you. While you want to keep things fun, you should have a reason to call her.

This is important, because you don't want her to think "Oh God, I'm going to have to spend the next 2 hours on the phone" every time she sees you calling.

Know what goal you want to achieve with the phone call before you start dialing! Is it to set up a date? Is it to touch base? Is it to strengthen your rapport?

Having a reason for calling her will help you stay focused on your end goal.

4.) Don't ask, instead, INVITE!

When talking to a girl, the urge is to give her the last decision on what to do.

Saying something like "Are you busy Friday?" might sound reasonable to you, but you're still putting the burden on her to find the time to hang out with you!

Whenever you push a girl over the phone to meet up, you'll want to frame things as though you're inviting her to join you, rather than having her choose how to meet up with you.

And trust me - there IS a difference!

Saying "Would you like to hang out tomorrow night?" is much different than "I'm going to this really awesome bar tomorrow night to check out a killer band, would you like to come?"

Offering the girl you're talking to opportunities will motivate her to say "yes" more than if you asked her if she'd be willing to spend time with you.

5.) Be congruent with who you are!

When talking on the phone, there's an issue that comes up where we are different people than we are normally. Maybe we're a little more outgoing, or engaging, or funny, or whatever.

Keep in mind that in order for a date to be successful, you have to be CONSISTENT about who you are, so the girl can really get to know you.

Putting on an act while talking over the phone is a bad idea. Though you aren't face to face, you still shouldn't purposefully misrepresent yourself, and it can be detrimental to boot. If you act more genuine, it WILL show and your chance of success will be much higher.

Chatting on the phone is an unfortunate, albeit necessary, part of the dating game. Though you might not like to do it, and many don't, you'll find that doing it well will help you in the long run. You'll find many more women open to hanging out with you, that normally wouldn't be.

Discover more fantastic advice on how to meet women by visiting Joseph Matthew's homepage and signing up for his free meet women newsletter.

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