Should You Buy A Girl A Drink?

Published: 18th May 2009
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A cute little lady approaches you in a bar and asks, "Will you buy me a drink?"

You could also be talking to a perfect 10, or a dancing away with one, and you she asks if you are going to buy her one.

So how do you handle this situation? Buy her a drink or not? And what does one say in this regard?

If you've been around the block a little, you've probably come to realize that it's usually not a good idea to respond to these drink requests in a positive fashion. For many reasons...

1.) Club drinks are usually very expensive and will drain your wallet fast.

2.) She may not be attracted to you at all and simply be using you to finance her night out.

3.) She may already be out with a guy, and once she gets her drink, she returns to him and completely ignores you (it happens).

4.) Most importantly, buying her a drink runs the risk of framing your interaction as one where you're seeking her approval! You are the pursuer and she is the prize that must be won.

Hey, it could be that she really likes you. This may just be the way she's trying to meet you, and she could care less about the drink. Or you could feel some chemistry here after talking awhile. Mind you, this is possible, but not entirely probable.

Is it "better to be safe than sorry" or to "throw caution to the wind" and buy her the drink anyway?

That begs the question: how does one protect themselves in this case without looking stingy, rude, or just odd? And how does one refuse the request without running her off?

The trick here is to turn the tables, and not make it about buying a drink to pick her up, but about her asking for a drink because she wants to pick YOU up!

This is a subtle difference. In one scenario, you're putting yourself at a disadvantage. In the other, you're making it so she has to prove to you she's worth your time and money.

So let's say the woman asks you "Will you buy me a drink?" Try smiling, tilting your head and saying, "I dunno. Last time I did that a woman tried to take advantage of me later."

This is important because you're not saying "Yes" or "No." You're steering the interaction in a different direction, one where you are in control.

The girl will either laugh, look at you funny, or ask you to tell the story. If she asks for a story, give her a good one. If not, say. "Think it'll work again this time?"

It will surprise how often a woman gets into this and says yes. There's a good chance she'll pull up a chair to talk about it. If she says no, then thank her for her honesty and leave. Women like that are often the ones who seek you out later in the evening!

It works out great either way. You control the interaction, and have turned it into something that is of your benefit, rather than hers!

If you are too scared to meet women you'll definitely want to check out Joseph Matthew's complimentary how to meet women newsletter where you'll get all the latest techniques and methods for meeting the girl of your dreams.

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