Don't Pay For Dates With Women

Published: 18th May 2009
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If you are trying to get a girlfriend, odds are you've spent quite a bit of money going out on dates.

After all, going out to eat every once and a while might be affordable, but taking a woman out to a restaurant 2-3 times a week quickly adds up!

So this begs the question - should you avoid paying for dates? Should you try and go dutch? What can you do here?

To me, the answer is simple:


See, if you don't go out on "take her out to dinner" dates anymore, then you won't have to deal with paying for them. Restaurant food can get expensive, especially if you're paying for two and going someplace other than McDonald's.

So you want to avoid the trap of doing what every other guy does, and offer to "take her out" on a traditional dinner-and-a-movie type date.

Instead, offer her chances to hang out with you in casual settings that aren't going to cost you a lot of money. Ask her to meet you for coffee, or drinks. This way you won't spend more than $10 on the first date.

A favorite line I use is to ask the girl: "What time are you having dinner tomorrow?" After she tells me, I say "Let's meet up for drinks after that!"

It's a slick way to bypass the whole "dinner" situation.

If you really don't want to spend any money, try showing up a few minutes late for the drinks, so she'll have already ordered one and paid. You can even show righteous indignation as you ask "Where is my drink?" upon your arrival.

Also, you'll want to be sure to set a budget on a date - I like to say I'm not willing to go over $30 until I find out I actually like the girl and she feels the same way about me.

Having a budget in mind will help in the decision making process of where to go and how long to say. If she's beginning to finish her drink, and you think she may order another one, tell her "Don't get another drink here, I want to take you somewhere else."

Then you can bring her to a different bar and focus on dancing, or something else that's free and gives you time to get to know each other.

Whatever you do, though - do not come off as cheap! Women don't like cheap men. It's not a gold-digging thing either, it's more acout courtesy. It's okay to try and have a cheap date, but if you start haggling over splitting a $2 cup of coffee, you're going to look bad and lose her interest.

Remember - it's okay to buy the girl stuff as long as it's in your budget! If she's asking you to buy her a diamond bracelet, obviously you'll have to let her know she hasn't earned that yet. But getting her a drink isn't going to kill you.

Finally, never ask the girl to pay for anything. But if she offers, feel free to take her up on it! Lots of girls will reach for their purses when the check comes. If they do it on their own, let them pay. But keep in mind that if you asked HER out, they typically want you to pay since you invited them.

If you buy a woman enough dinners, she may begin to feel some AFFECTION for you... but food and gifts will never lead to ATTRACTION. And trust me, there's a big difference between the two.

I would avoid spending a lot of money on a woman until you are sure that things are going in the direction you want. Until you reach that point, keep things as cheap as possible!

Joseph Matthews has been teaching guys how to meet women since 2004, and is widely known as an expert in the field of confidence building and dating advice. If you want to discover more about how to meet women, check out his complimentary newsletter.

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